


Mad Angels & Demons

by G_the_G



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-18 21:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16524581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/G_the_G/pseuds/G_the_G
Summary: What happens when you create lab equipment that keeps accidentally summoning demons?





	Mad Angels & Demons

Darcy threw the demon-containment system that Dr. Strange had wisely deemed a permanent necessity for their lab and pulled out her cell phone.

“Does it really count as a summoning if  _we_ technically didn’t call on them?”

She paused before hitting the send button. Questions like that deserved exaggerated expressions of tolerance. “Jane,” she paused, ensuring she infused her voice with enough sarcastic sweetness, “ Honey. Just because your weird gadget somehow plays the perfect imitation of a demonic pan flute and it’s not actually  _you_ doing the summoning does not mean it wasn’t a summoning.” 

“But-”

“No.” She held up a finger. “I’m right on this one. It’s a summoning. That’s probably the only reason why Strange is okay with being on my speed dial.” 

With that she hit the call button. Unsurprisingly, the man picked up quickly and after a short “it happened again,” he sighed and said he would be right over. Darcy hurriedly expressed her thanks and hung up, catching the pout on Jane’s face as she was Angry Puttering around her desk. Angry Puttering was a lot like normal puttering; it just involved slightly more curses and furrowed brows. A nuance not everyone got. Luckily for both of them, Darcy was fluent in all things Dr. Foster.

“I know, I know. You’re disappointed they all want to talk corporeal possession and shady deals not Science!.”

Jane began tightening a screw very vehemently, grunting her response out with each turn. “You’d think,” turn,” that if a piece of science equipment,” turn, “ is what summoned them,” turn, “they’d at least be willing to explain the details of their existence.” Turn. “For research purposes.”

Darcy worried what it meant that she actually agreed with that train of thought, and sympathetically gave her boss’ shoulder a pat. “Don’t worry, sport. You’ll get ‘em someday.”

The scientist nodded determinedly, and moments later straightened with a wild gleam starting. “Maybe… if I-”

“Don’t even go there!” Darcy forcibly put Jane’s butt onto the stool next to her and held her down by her shoulders, looking her directly in the eye. It was important to be clear in times insanity. “You are  _not_ selling your soul to research the occult first-hand.”

Jane looked down at the screwdriver still in her hands.

“I wasn’t going to.”

Darcy didn’t accept that for a one moment, and kept staring until her friend finally met her eyes again; this time with an impatient glare.

“Okay, I was gonna try and barter, but I wasn’t going to actually  _sell_ my soul. Promise.”

Both women’s eyes narrowed as they stared at each other. After a long moment, Darcy nodded with a muttered “uh huh” and walked back to her workstation, skeptically eyeing Jane. When the scientist stuck her tongue out and went back to puttering, she put her earbuds in, hoping to drown out the eery humming that came from the contained demon. But before she turned her music on, Jane began muttering to herself.

“I wonder what the going rate for a soul  _is_ …. I’m sure Stephen could get it back anyway.”

* * *

 

Twenty minutes after Darcy left on her date with Clint, Jane headed down to the lab. She knew her assistant had done some makeshift sabotaging after that morning’s visitor. Though she hadn’t seen it, she knew that Tony had molested and maimed her precious equipment, no doubt in the hopes of avoiding any more accidental summonings of demonic personages and beings. But it was pointless. She knew exactly how to get it back to perfect summoning order (she had more real PhDs than Tony anyway). So she figured she might perform something that was a little less accidental. A scientific summoning, she figured. For research.

Ten minutes of puttering, three minutes of cursing Tony for screwing things up by thinking he was clever, and a solid thirty seconds of happy dancing later, the machine Darcy had dubbed The Summoner™ was resurrected. Jane was about to plug in the calculations and set the machine going, but stopped, annoyed with herself for forgetting a couple steps. She began to mutter to herself, pacing in front of the machine.

“What to use, what to use.” She paused, looking at the machine. “Could I…” with a shake of her head, she went back to pacing.

Darcy had made her swear on Nancy Grace Roman that she wouldn’t in any way, shape, or form attempt to trade any portion or iota of her soul with a demon; not in this dimension, any other dimension, timeline, or possible universe. Coulson had clearly been a bad influence. Darcy didn’t use to be quite that thorough.

“Come on, Foster. There’s gotta be something soul-like you have access to.” Pace, pace, pace. “It probably doesn’t have to be fully sentient-” She cut herself off with a squeak. She knew exactly what to do.

* * *

Thor sat on the couch, munching on Tony’s expensive nut and fruit mix as though it was popcorn, watching the food network as per usual. He looked up with a smile when she came up next to him.

“Ah, my Jane. I thought you were working in the lab.”

“I am, I just need to borrow Mjolnir.” She stepped around the couch and picked up the hammer gingerly from where it sat at his feet. “Doing some research.”

He nodded calmly. Ever since she had discovered she was indeed worthy (a fact he never doubted and she hadn’t taken too much time to consider), she had done various tests and experiments to see just how much of its power she could harness, why she was able to at all, and how to replicate it with her own materials and equipment. So far it hadn’t wielded more than some serious scorch marks on the walls and ceiling and a few dirty looks from friends who’d had some hair singed. But that wasn’t really out of the ordinary for the lab.

“Would you like company?”

“No,” she smiled, leaning over the couch to quickly press her lips against his. As she pulled away, he let out a soft hum with his eyes still closed. And that was far too much for even her to resist. She quickly leaned back to deepen the kiss, tasting the salt that lingered there from his snack. After a couple moments she pulled back again, this time with a very satisfied smirk. “You’re far too distracting. I need my wits about me today.”

He chuckled as he cupped her cheek. “Then I wish you success and hope you will tell me about any discoveries you make.”

“Always,” she promised before bounding up and across the room, Guy Fieri’s voice following her as she headed out the door.

* * *

Like clockwork, two minutes after Jane started the machine, an odd thrumming that was felt more than heard filled the lab and suddenly a demon stood in front of her. This one was small, maybe about half her height, and she was grateful. The big ones always resorted to threats soon after they realized they weren’t going to get a soul in their bargain. The small ones were usually willing to talk, slyly trying to maneuver the conversation. Jane had hoped for that, she was ready for some maneuvering of her own.

“You have called and I have come. What deed would you have me do, summoner?”

In order to keep the demon on her side and not annoyed, she avoided waving her hand to hurry his slow pronouncement along. “As interesting as a linguist might find it to examine your use of antiquated language features, my assistant already figured out that you guys have adopted the modern vernacular. So let’s talk.”

The demon’s eyes squinted, and from its expression Jane was worried he might bolt, but then he folded his arms, huffing out a grunt that sounded oddly like a sand bag hitting the ground from a tall height. “Well shit. Who let the cat out of the bag?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Never caught his name. He was just the green furry winged guy five demons ago.”

It had been tapping its taloned foot, but stilled at her comment. “Five? You’re not the crazy scientist who’s been wasting all our time crank summoning us, are you?”

This was not the start she’d been hoping for. Social graces were never her strong suit, and while she had planned out her argument, this topic wasn’t gonna be an easy way to segue into it. “Well it wasn’t  _intentional_ and I tried to make it useful for you guys.”

“Oh no. I’m outta here.” But despite a vigorous headshake and vehement declaration, it kept talking. “At least with teens I’ve got a 50/50 chance. But you’re just crazy. And unlike Belphegor, I don’t do crazy. I got a quota to meet.”

“Wait,” Jane said before it could add another gripe. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

The demon squinted at her again, humming to itself, the sound resembling rocks being tossed around in a tumble dryer. “You’re crazy, but I’m curious. What’re you offering?”

With a grin, she stepped over to the stool that was mostly hidden behind a lab desk and picked up Mjolnir, gingerly wiggling it in the air as she walked back over. “This.”

“ _That_? You sure?”

She tried to soften her grin and shrug. “Yeah. This.”

Toe talons began tapping on the hard lab floor, but this time from excitement. And despite the fact that the demon’s whisper sounded like a heavy bucket dragged across rough terrain, she thought she heard it say something about Hel being happy and screw quotas. After another moment of its creepily gleeful muttering, it nodded. “Okay, sounds good.”

“Great!” Jane said, holding the hammer closer to her chest. “Now in exchange, I just want you to answer all my questions.”

It didn’t like that one bit. “Nuh uh. Come on, lady. I’m the demon here. It’s not like I was born yesterday. With that kind of promise you’ll just summon me whenever and wherever you have a question and I’ll never be rid of you.”

She tilted her head in mock thought, hoping she waited long enough before extending her counter offer. “Okay, fine, you answer all my questions for three hours and you have Mjolnir.”

It paused for a couple seconds. “One.”

“Two.” Jane held her breath. She was so close.

Its talons tapped out a rhythm as it debated that option. Tap, tap, scratch. Tap, tap, scratch.

“Fine. Lemme hold onto that, though. I don’t trust you.”

She rolled her eyes but held out the hammer. “I think by default, you’re the one who isn’t supposed to be trusted here.”

When the demon’s scaly hand was an inch away from Mjolnir, it practically cackled, “You’re right!” But when it yanked the handle and she let go, it seemed faster than gravity dictated that the demon was flat on its back, wheezing like grating metal gears with the hammer firmly on its chest.

“I figured that’d be the case,” Jane confirmed to herself as she went to grab stuff to take notes. She had a lot of questions to ask.

“What?! Why?! HOW!?”

“That’s what you’re supposed to tell me.” She popped her head up from where she’d been digging for a pen, because of course she’d forgotten to charge her tablet. “Also, you’re not worthy,” she added simply, before grabbing the pen and pad she finally found.

“You’re going to regret this!”

Jane tilted her head, watching the small thing squirm and grunt on the floor. “Eh, only if my assistant finds out.

She thought the sound that came out from the creature was supposed to be a growl, but with its attention diverted from trying to show off and Mjolnir no doubt cutting of its airflow (Did demons even have lungs? Jane made note to ask about demonic anatomy at some point.) it sounded more like a disgruntled scrape of a chair on linoleum.

Ignoring its further sound effects and struggles, Jane sat on a stool and got comfortable. “Your promised me answers and two hours. Shall we get started?”


End file.
